4 months. Wow. Little guy has now spent half his life in America and half his life in Africa. Kind of crazy, when you think about it. In the past month, Ezra has learned to roll over from his tummy to back, he loves laughing at mommy and daddy, enjoys catnapping in his carseat, has started sleeping 10+ hours at night, and is officially 17.2 pounds! Unfortunately we missed how long he was because ya know it was in French with the metric system, but we did understand that "whoa" that followed after the nurse read the measurement. And the latest development is our little guy has started teething. We thought we would have another month or so before this started, poor guy has NOT been happy. There has been a lot of tears and a lot of time in the rocking chair. Anyways, here's to 4 months and we can't wait to see what next month has in store!
Intentionality: My 2017 Plan
Goal Setting. I've always been someone who loves taking time sit down, dream, write, and make a plan to get things done. But there's always been one problem with all that, actually doing it.
While it looks pretty on paper and I might stick with it for a month maybe even two, it eventually trails off. So this year, I wanted to try something different with goals. And by definition of "goals" these probably won't even qualify, so let's call them something else—my plan for living on purpose.
First off, I highly recommend Lara Casey's blog on goal setting. You may have seen her powersheets on Instagram or book, Making it Happen. I have wanted to do her powersheets for a couple years now, but they are always sold out once I get around to spending my Christmas money. But this year she did a 4 part blog series that helps you work through some of the things she discusses in her book and powersheets.
So after working through her blog series there were a few things that stood out. The first is that I have one word that came to mind for 2017. I've heard of people choosing a word for the year before, but I never understood how that word actually changed anything. I think this is where Casey's blog series really puts it all together. Instead of just claiming a word I now see how that word needs to play out in certain areas of my life. And I'm laying it all out on the blog so that through my vulnerability I might have some accountability—even if it's only with myself!
So what's my word?
INTENTIONALITY.
And I want to be intentional in these four areas:
1. Community
2. Health
3. Spirituality
4. Creativity
So what does that mean exactly? Yes, Jess, it looks great when you write out with numbers and have a pretty graphic, but how do you really go about making change? Glad you asked. :)
Let's look at each one of the areas and I'll break down my plan for you.
1. Community - Since we live in Africa it's imperative that we form community among our team, nationals, and find ways to keep up with friendships back home. I have never been really good at keeping up with people who I don't see on a daily basis, and I hate this. Because I mean, these people have been with my as I stood at the altar promising to love my husband through it all. These are the friends who have witnessed good times and bad times, and when more good times and bad times come, I want to have them standing with again. But I also need a community of people to love in person, here in Africa. So that means being intentional about inviting people over, asking how they are doing, and getting out of my comfort zone and meeting new people with the intention to love.
2. Health - After having a baby, I'm officially in the worst health of my life. Understand me, I don't just mean weight, though that plays a big part. I have no muscle tone, food allergies, thyroid problems, and too many cravings. I want to get back to the person who use to crave work-outs, eat healthy, and fit into something other than maternity pants. :) But for real, as I was working through this plan on paper, something occurred to me. And while this may seem like a no-brainer to others, it really hit home for me the first time. "I have to be intentional about my health, it's not something that will just happen."
I mean duh, right? But for some reason I have been living as if getting healthy will just happen! But it's more than just eating right and exercising, it's getting to the heart of the matter. So that's why I'm reading Made To Crave. I want to get to the heart of cravings, and not be defined by a number on the scale, but instead by how my heart reacts. Guys, if this is something that you struggle with or something you have down as a goal for 2017, please, please read this book! That's all.
So as part of my intention for health, I plan to work on my heart, eat less sugars and bread and eat more veggies and water, and exercise 5 times a week. While I'm still working on the right eating plan for my family and for living in Africa, we have already made some changes in our daily diets. And since I use to blog about my allergy-free diet I'm restarting the blog series, but tailoring it to life in Africa. I plan to share easy to make recipes that are both healthy and quick, because when you have a newborn and are cooking in a kitchen without a/c in one of the hottest places on earth, you better believe it's not going to take more than 30 minutes!
3. Spirituality - In short, I want to be intentional with my own daily devotional time, and I want to be intentional about teaching our baby boy to love Jesus well. On that note, if anyone has some good book recommendations for teaching your kids, please send them my way! As for what my daily quiet time looks like, I have found that 40 minutes of pumping breast milk in the morning is a great time to pull out my Jesus Calling Journal Book and Journaling Bible. I love working through one days' devotion by reading it and then answering the questions and writing out a prayer in the space provided. Afterwards, I look up the 2-3 verses provided and read them in the journal Bible and pick out a part of the passage that stands out to me and doodle it. Because I'm a kinetic learning, this has been one of the most successful ways for me to really hear and understand God's word. I just wish I had discovered 2o+ years ago!
4. Creativity - As most people know I am a photographer. I love photographing people, whether it's a newly engaged couple or a mom in Africa loving on her children. But these things don't happen every day, and I've come to learn that if I'm not picking up my camera more than when I just have the opportunity that I'm not really pushing myself creatively. So I'm doing something that I've done before, a 365 challenge. I'll be posting a photo everyday following along with the prompts from #thebethadillychallenge. When I did this in 2015 I could see a huge difference in my posts from January to December and how much I had grown in trying to capture a specific shot. I hope that it will also challenge me in thinking outside the box.
My other way to intentionally nurture my creativity is by blogging. I mean, it may just be my fam reading these things (hi, mom) but I don't care. I've decided that blogging isn't really about who reads it, but that I get my thoughts down on paper. It allows me to "feel" like I have an audience for my writings and photography, therefore I put thought and effort into what I say. It's an accountability of sorts. So if you do happen to read the blog, you can look forward to see a few things habitually showing up on the blog this year: a monthly health post, a monthly refresh my soul post (like this one), updates on baby boy Ezra and life in Africa, and my most passionate blogs: stories of lives changed here in Africa.
So there you have it, my plan of intent for 2017. I would LOVE to hear from each of you on what your goals, word, or hopes and dreams are for 2017. I think the best way we can actually try to work on these things is by telling others and not keeping it to ourselves.
Having A Baby: What We've Learned In 3.5 Months
As we've ventured into this whole baby thing, we've finally started learning some things about being parents. There's the obvious things like how your heart might burst when you see your little one smile and laugh and then there's the practical things, like learning which pacifier works best and which diaper cream gets rid of his first rash. And while I don't claim that any of these things may work for anyone other than our baby, I encourage you to try them. Because that's how we found out what worked to begin with—we tried and then tried again.
First off, I have two books I highly recommend reading. I'm not one for lengthy, doctor-jargon books, so needless to say some of the more popular books bored me straight to sleep (literally). But there were two books that had me so intrigued I couldn't put them down, I even finished one of them in one day, and yes, that was while pumping and taking care of baby! The other I read while pregnant. With that said, I recommend reading this book while pregnant. It will give you some practical guidelines for a newborn (just a couple) and a whole lot of ideas for when they are older. I really recommend reading the other book after you've had your first baby, in the first few weeks. I think if I would have read it before having baby I would have been totally overwhelmed. I feel much more confident having spent time with my little one and understanding the importance of the issues discussed in the book.
So, here we go: What I've Learned. And as you read these, I want you to remember that every baby is different, every mom is different, every culture is different, and every day is different. In other words, let's not judge, but learn.
1. Learning to Read Your Baby Takes Time, But Trust Your Instinct
I really had that feeling of meeting someone new. I feel like it took a few weeks before I could even start to understand what to do with Ezra. We kind of just did a simple routine of put him down in his little lounger (rock n play) to sleep, when he wakes up crying, change his diaper, then my husband feeds him his bottle while I pump more milk, and repeat every three hours for weeks on end. Sometimes we'd change it up by putting him in the mamaroo, but we usually only used this when he was awake (more on this later), which means, not much use the first month. Now during growth spurts and cluster feedings life looked a lot more chaotic. There was less sleeping and more crying (mostly from us) and wondering if this would ever pass. I had never even heard of cluster feeding or growth spurts until my husband read about them online. Do yourself a favor and look it up, then be prepared. We know use an app called Wonder Weeks (there's a book too, but I haven't read it) and it will tell you when your baby is in his fussy stage. This helps with your sanity when you know he's growth spurting and not just fussy for no reason.
While learning to read our baby we were also able to realize that he was having tummy troubles. He would spit up a lot, have lots of gas, and just seemed to be in pain. At his one month check up the doctor put him on acid reflux meds and it's been a big game-changer. He started crying less and when I cut back on my dairy at month two I even noticed less gas, which also reduced the fussy fits he would have. That said, don't leave the hospital without gripe water—it will save your life! When our little when get the hiccups, crazy amounts of gas, or just not stop crying no matter what we would give him just a little bit of gripe water and the whole world would calm within seconds. I highly recommend Momma's Bliss brand because it's void of sugars and much more natural then other brands out there. You can get it at your local store or on amazon.
I usually put his paci in immediately after I give it to him so he sucks and soothes himself. And speaking of paci's we were all about those green Philip's Avent Soothers (the same paci on the wubanubs), but after using Dr. Brown Bottles we discovered that the Dr. Brown Pacifers worked better since they were same shape as the bottle he was use to sucking from. I suggest finding what works for you, if your little one doesn't take the paci, try a different brand, remember try and then try again. Also, I love using the wubanub type pacis when we are in the car or when we are trying to soothe Ezra during sleeping hours. Why? Because when he drops the paci I can easily find it with my hand, with the little soothers, I could never figure out where it rolled to. Oftentimes I would find it behind his head or under his carseat support pillow. And of course, he's screaming bloody murder because, ya know, he wants his paci. Now we use this one non-stop. He has his scent all over Mr. Turtle (as we affectionately call him) and it's become his lovey, comfort tool for sleep time. I also like the Dr. Brown over the wubanub beause you can remove the pacifer and replace it with a new one. With the wubanub it's attached forever, until your little guy yanks it off as my nephew did.
2. Teach Your Baby To Sleep & Have A Schedule
Okay, so remember, if you don't like what I say, just repeat my mantra above. But this is where I recommend the books above. I really believe that we need to be taught to sleep well. We can all sleep, but how many times do you hear people complain about lack of sleep, sleeping bad during the night, etc. It's interesting to see how sleep is viewed and taught in different cultures, and I love the Brining up Bebe book for this reason. It takes a look at French culture and how simples things like sleep aren't looked at as horrible and hard things to accomplish. So we decided from the beginning to try and train our baby to sleep. However, we got lucky and our baby was born way over 9 pounds so he slept 3 hours from the beginning and then slowly worked his way up to 5 and then one day it was 10, all before 3 months and without any sleep training! But after he started regressing and waking up during the night again, I decided to take a friend's advice and read a book she recommend (see above).
Immediately we began implementing the steps. What I like most about her book is that it gave me a practical step-by-step guide on what to do. First, being to feed him every 4 hours and make sure by the end of the day he had at least 24 oz. This helps eliminate snacking and makes sure he's full so he can sleep for 12 hours straight. Since Ezra was already eating around 24 oz, I knew it wouldn't be a problem to get his amount in, but he was having them sporadically. When he would cry we would feed, what we learned in just one day of following her steps, was that sometimes when he cried, he was tired, but needed help. Wow, remember how I said reading your baby will take time, yeah, still doing that at month 4. So we started by picking our 12 hour time frame (8am-8pm). Some people do 11-11, some 6-6, etc, you can make it work for your schedule, which is another important thing that is stressed in both books above. Baby needs to adapt to your world, you don't need to adapt yours to baby's. So at 7:45am we get Ezra up, change his diaper, and begin feeding him by 8am. We then feed him again at 12pm, 4pm, and 7:30pm. We try to make feedings last only 30 minutes, and to have an average of 6oz each time. He usually heats 8 oz in the morning and then less at the 12 pm feeding. At 10am we attempt to take an hour nap and at 2pm we attempt to take a 2 hour nap. Ezra is not a good napper, which I'm learning is because we weren't reading him well. But since trying our sleep traing for only 3 days, he has now started taking a 10 am nap and sleeping through the night. He does wake up or root around a bit once in the early morning, but instead of feeding him, we now use shooshing, paci, and rocking the rock n play to get him back asleep. Guys, I really can't recommend this book enough! It's been amazing! We are still trying to get naps down, but she doesn't even recommend nap training until 2 weeks of sleeping through night, and did I mention we are on day 3 of 3 of trying and succeeding! *happy claps*
Also, having a schedule really helps me have a set time to get my work done, and be able to plan site visits or grocery shopping. It wil lbe even easier when I'm done pumping and can just rely on formula. Because of that, my husband helps A LOT! And I mean a lot. I honestly wouldn't be able to stick to this schedule if I had to pump and get him fed and down for sleep all by myself.
3. There are Few Things I Couldn't Live Without
So now, for the fun stuff. Here's a few things that Ezra has loved and so have we. Again, each baby is different, but I encourage you to try them out.
1. This thermometer. Because let's be honest. There have been so many time I thought he might be sick, and sticking this up to his forehead is WAY easier than trying to stick one under his arm and hold it.
2. Gripe Water, because it will be your best friend. Read more about it above in the blog post.
3. Zen Swaddle. Our guy was too big and strong for ordinary swaddling, it was pointless. I couldn't even do it for his newborn photos. But this guy not only keeps him in with the velcro straps it also has a weight in it that makes him feel as if he is sleeping on his chest. It really helped in those early months.
4. Bamboo is amazing, and even more amazing for Africa weather and washing clothes in harsh water with no dryer. It's the only fabric that doesn't seem to get all stiff and hard after washing. We love using this particular style now that he's older and sleeping 10-12 hours.
5. Because we don't leave the house without mosquito protection. This stuff is gentle enough for even a young baby.
6. The insert that came with our infant car seat was a joke. It did nothing, so we quickly realized we needed something else to support his neck. I love this one because it's reversible (ya know for spit up situations) and the other side is plush and soft! There is also a removable neck support pillow and we actually took that out and use it to support his neck when he is in the mammaroo.
7. Because in Africa you cover up. Also, I would totally use this for walks at dusk in the states, I mean we may have Dengue and Malaria in Africa, but the US has West Nile and Zika, both of which have been found in the neighborhoods we have lived in.
8. Favorite paci so far, see above for more on this.
9. Love these bottles. We quickly switched from the basic Madela bottles when we noticed he was getting too much air and having trouble with gas and spit up. It didn't eliminate those things, but it reduced them for sure! I have enough bottles now for one day of pumping and feeding (thanks to a friend who donated her stash) so I only have to wash them once. I will say, I really wish I had dishwasher for these, but that's where #12 comes in handy.
10. I wasn't sure if I'd use this or not until he got older, but after his two month shots and a couple rough nights after some intense travel to Africa, this stuff came in very handy. There have been a total of 3 nights when he was in a lot of pain. We gave him a little bit of this and it worked like magic and made him sleep for hours. :)
11. I didn't think I'd need a monitor at first, but wow, was I wrong. I also didn't want to invest in an expensive monitor or one that used wifi, because our wifi is not unlimited in Africa. When I ran across this guy for under $100 I was skeptical, but my mom graciously purchased it for us and it's been amazing. Sometimes it looses signal so I have to play around with where I put it, but it allows me to hear him cry after nap time while we are in team meeting or when we were still in the states it would let us know he's awake for night feedings, because even though in the beginning we'd wake up at the slightest sound, we eventually became immune and it took a lot more to get out of our sleep deprived state. In other words, volume up.
12. Because without a dishwasher you want to make sure these bottles are clean! So this guy helps get all the leftover residue out.
13. I had the hardest time picking out a stroller. For one they can be super expensive! And then there are ones (like ours) that are priced for normal people, but what's the difference? I have yet to discover anything wrong with our "cheap" stroller and he even handles the pot hole dirt paths of Africa. Ezra loves his carseat (I think because it keeps him upright) so he spends most of his time in his carseat when we are out of the house. I also like keeping him in the stroller because it puts him at my height and I don't have to bend down to reach him in the carseat. Anyways, if you are having trouble deciding on a stroller and don't want a fancy $500 one, but you aren't really into umbrella strollers, I highly recommend this one!
14. If your kid has acid, this will be a life saver. It can adjust to different inclines, and is great for rocking your baby to sleep. It's been even more handy during our sleep training nights. I can't say enough about this, except that they should make them longer for babies like ours. I'm not sure how much longer he'll be able to sleep in it, because the poor guy is getting kind of cramped!
15. Y'all, this bag! I didn't use it all in the states, but starting from the airport on, it's been my only bag. Since there are no changing tables in the rest of the world, this guy provides the perfect solution. We went on a 3 hour drive in country last month and in the middle of no where I can plop down the bed of the truck, open this guy up and voila, changing pad. We also had a blow out diaper at a cafe one day (all over Reed, poor thing) and with no bathroom, we were able to open this bag up, change him, wash him, and get him clean without any hassle. It even has an insulated pocket for milk. Seriously, can't go without this guy.
16. This one serves two purposes. First, it's a must for moms. I have so many times started a cup of coffee only to have gotten distracted and not finished the cup before it went cold. With my Yeti it stays warm for hours. In fact, one day I didn't have my morning coffee till dinner, the Yeti even kept it warm for me. I also use it for ice water. Since we live in a place that is hot all year round and we only run a/c at night in our bedroom, drinks get warm quick. I love that I can put water in this guy and it never goes warm, plus it doesn't sweat so there's no clean up or dripping of water everywhere.
Okay and purpose number two. It's great for warming up bottles. Since it retains heat, we put the hot water in it and drop in the bottle. To be honest, we actually have another mug we got a coffee shop in Colorado. It is tall and slender and has a lid to it. I like that one better because I can fit the whole bottle inside the mug and then twist the lid shut and wait for the bottle to warm. It also allows us to bring hot water with us when we leave the house in case we need to warm up a bottle on the go.
17. Another bamboo clothing item. In the first two months when baby is still getting up every 3 hours or less this guy made diaper changes MUCH easier. We didn't have to mess with buttons during the middle of the night and could just pull it up and go. And if you want you can covert it to pants instead. win, win.
18. The mamaroo. Really, any swing would do. I just recommend using it for playtime and not sleeping, read the sleep training book above to find out why. We just have the mamaroo because that's what someone bought us. And we loved it so much we put it in it's original box and took it as one of our luggage allowances back to Africa.
So there you have it, a list of all the things we have come to love these past 4 months. I'm hoping that we'll start using a baby carrier and play mat and toys soon, but for now they haven't really been much of help. There were a few times I would put Ezra in the Moby Wrap and it would calm him down, but here in Africa it's just so hot! I plan to try a ring sling soon, so we'll see how that goes. I would love to hear what products or tips have been a big help to you as you raise your little ones! Leave comments below and let me know!
Also as a sidenote, if you are overwhelmed by cost (as we were) make sure and ask friends who are done have kids if they want to sell anything or check out craigslist or resale shops. We got almost everything gifted to us and the few things we didn't get as gifts we found at resale shops. Just remember that there are LOTS of people getting rid of things and all you have to do is ask!
If you want to see more reviews of incredible products check out Jenn Reviews' Blog Post Here!
Ezra James: 3 Months
First off, Merry Christmas! It just so happens Ezra turns 3 months on Christmas Eve Eve...and yes, that's a thing! So of course, this month we had to get some photos with the tree. Can you believe we found a tree in our small tiny Africa country that doesn't celebrate Christmas a holiday? I was shocked, and overjoyed to say the least!
This month Ezra moved to Africa and learned to sleep through the night! He has been pulling anywhere from 10-12 hours. However he goes down so early that he's still waking up pretty early too, but still, it's more than 3 hours of sleep at a time! *all the feels* That said, our little boy is full of smiles, loves making "ahh" noises, and sticking his hand in his mouth. Can't wait to see what the next month holds!
Our Typical Day With a Baby in Africa
The apartment building across the street
We are often asked what does daily life look like while living in Africa. To be honest, I'm not sure there is a "normal" day, but I figured I'd try my best to explain one. Now that we have a baby (who turns 3 months on December 23rd) in the picture, our days have drastically changed. So I offer this timeline as an inspiration to those trying to work from home with little ones, and for any mommas out there who might be exclusively pumping. It's a long story as to why I'm exclusively pumping, but the short version is 2 hours of breastfeeding and wasn't full, tongue tie, and one week in NICU eating from a bottle. Like I said, short version. Anyways, here's what a typical day might look like:
somewhere between 4am-6am - Ezra wakes up for his early morning feeding. (sometimes this has happened as late as 8am) At this time, Reed gets up and warms the bottles and changes him, while I get ready to pump. Ezra usually eats around 6 oz at this time. Somewhere between 40 min. to an hour later we all go back to sleep.
Ezra enjoying his time in the Mamaro
8am - Ezra wakes up and Reed feeds him another 3 oz bottle and I pump again. Afterwards we change him out of his pj's and we put him in the mamaroo while we get dressed and eat breakfast.
9am - Our house helper arrives and begins cleaning the kitchen. :) We transition to the office so she can clean the bedrooms. All three of us go into our office to work. This is when we answer emails, work on reports, and other office tasks for our NGO. Ezra usually plays in the mamaroo and sometimes nods off for a few cat naps. On days we adventurous we'll spend the morning at the cafe down the street. We try to at least go once a week. They have a great cheap breakfast and we have already made several friends with some of the regulars.
11:30am - Ezra takes another 2-3 oz bottle and goes down for a nap somewhere between 30 min - 1 hr.
12pm - We eat lunch, usually prepared by our house helper.
12:30 pm - If he's not already awake, Ezra wakes up and wants to play. We usually do tummy time and on a good day he'll even roll over for us!
1:00 pm - I pump again, and we take advantage of the local custom, which is to rest! All the shops shut down till about 3:00 or 4:00 so we can't do any errands. We usually put on a tv show while I pump and Reed continues playing with Ezra.
2:00 pm - Once a week we'll take this time to go to the grocery store or get drinking water. Recently the grocery stores have decided to stay open during the pause "break" and it's the perfect time to beat the crowds. Ezra will catnap if we are out and about, if not, then he wants to play!
Just one of our many stops on our evening walks around the neighboorhood.
3:00 - 4:30 pm - Ezra takes another bottle sometimes two, which is around 3-5 oz. He finally takes another nap and so do we!
5:00 pm - Exercise time! Since the only air conditioned gym is $300 a month and our floor in our apartment is so slippery I have yet to successfully complete a workout video, we have to get creative on how we get our exercise in. Right now (in the winter) the weather is perfect for walking and jogging outside, so we load up Ezra in the stroller, cover him with a mosquito net and explore our neighborhood. Ezra loves bumping along and usually sleeps the whole time. We finish our walk with some lunges, planks, wall sits, etc.
6:00 pm - Since we only have cold showers we make sure to shower while we are still sweaty, but since cooking dinner also involves sweating Reed will go ahead and begin cooking, while I shower and then pump.
7:00 pm - We start getting Ezra ready for bedtime. We give him a bath, change him into his pj's and if it's Saturday or Sunday we call our families on FaceTime before Ezra falls asleep. One of us will also continue finish cooking dinner, while the other feeds and put Ezra down for the night.
8:00 pm - Ezra is usually asleep by now, so we finally eat dinner while watching a movie or tv show. After dinner we may do a few more emails or office work, since we can finally work without interruption!
10:00 pm - I pump again while doing my daily French lesson on my iPhone. Afterwards we clean all the bottles, and we fall asleep by 11:30. (as a side note, cleaning bottles in Africa is a chore in itself.) While the water here is actually clean enough to drink it's very salty and has a lot of sulphur. So everything it touches seems to weaken by the day. Things turn brown quicker, and just seem to fall apart. That being said, we have to wash the bottles with our drinking water. Praise to my momma who bought us a water tower when she was here this month! Because that baby has saved us countless steps! With the water tower the water comes out blazing hot! So now I just pour some in a bucket and start washing. The soap here is also horrible. It's just water-downed goop, but I have a special reserve of Dawn that a family got at the store on the American base and I only use that soap for cleaning all the bottles and pump parts.
So this is our schedule most days except Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. On Tuesdays we have team meetings, so our entire mornings are spent hosting our team in our living room as we take time to debrief the last week. Fridays are equivalent to the western Saturday and Sundays—it's the day of rest. So our house helper has the day off and so do we. On Sundays, we spend the morning going to chapel on the American base and then eating out at a local restaurant.
Gathering stories and photos at a recent distribution to disabled children.
Our schedule will also change once we begin French classes again. Starting in January we will either take classes at the local school or look for tutors. We aren't quite sure how this will work into our baby schedule, but we guess that one of us will do French while the other is on baby duty, and vice versa. So for now it's a small glimpse into our life. We expect things to change as Ezra gets older and has a more solid routine of sleeping and eating, and once I know longer have to pump 6 times a day! We also have jobs that pop up on a moment's notice that we have to be a part of as well. Since my job is documenting any humanitarian distributions, I also have my camera charged in case I get a call that a distribution is happening today and I need to go and get stories.
As I think about our daily routine I realize how different it is from our routine in the States. Life seemed simpler as you went to work from 9-5, often time later, had set days of rest, but never rested outside those days. Always had plenty of notice before big events, and most importantly had family to help out with babysitting. But even though our new life is different, it's a blessing. We get to be stay-at-home parents and work full-time. It's an interesting mix that provides a lot of challenges, but we wouldn't trade it for anything.
I also realized that it took all day to write this blog post because of stopping to pump, eat, change diapers, holding Ezra while typing with one hand, etc. It seems that whatever time it took for a task to get done before it takes double the amount of time when you have a baby, and it also takes even more time living in Africa. My mom finally understood that statement during her time staying with us. The heat makes things go slower; it makes us go slower! So in an effort to feel like we get at least something done each day we've started telling each other what we would like to accomplish each day. My list usually consists of two things: work out and do 30 minutes of French. Sometimes I get ambitious and add "send out newsletter," or "write blog." We've found that this has helped us stay focused on just a few things at a time and hopefully those few things will add up over the long run. So while we may not feel like we get as much done in a day as we use to, we go to bed tired, and we at least get something done every day, and for that I count it as a win.
Ezra James: 2 Months
We've got a smarty pants on our hands! Ezra is 15 pounds 2 ounces, 24.25 inches long. He is already trying to roll over and has started to smile and "talk" with mommy and daddy. He's been very nice to us by learning to sleep 5 hours at night! He doesn't do it all the time, but when he does, we are so thankful! This kid has seriously stolen our hearts.
Prince Philip, Maleficent, and her Little Dragon...
Ezra James: 1 Month
I can't believe it's been one month! In some ways it feels like it's been longer and in other ways it feels like it's only been a week. This month he has grown from his birth weight of 10 lbs 13 oz to 13 lb 3 oz! He's our big boy, that's for sure. He has recently learned to use the pouty lip when upset, and likes to lift and turn his head, a lot! He LOVES tummy time, mostly because it's the one position that soothes his acid reflux. He has spent lots of time with grandparents, sleeps about 3 hours at a time (sometimes 4!) and eats 4-5 ounces each feeding...did I mention he's big?
So to celebrate his one month we took some photos at the pumpkin patch. What better way to celebrate than to dress up your little one for Fall and take some photos of him and pumpkins! #fave
Ezra James: Birth Story
Photo by Mary Fields Photography
For the most part my pregnancy with Ezra was a healthy, semi-smooth 9 months. The hardest part was spending the first 3 months attached to the bathroom as "morning sickness" became "all day sickness". Even as we moved to Africa in month 4 things carried on as normal. Battling heat and the occasional sickness was something I could handle compared to what many others have faced in their pregnancies. And around month 6 we headed back to states (per doctor's orders) to settle in for the third trimester and wait for baby Ezra to make his debut.
At my last sonogram before the baby came, the doctor noticed that our baby was a bit on the larger size, she estimated that his birth weight would probably be around 9 pounds as he was already 2 pounds bigger than the average baby at his gestational date. On week 39 the doctor suggested we schedule for induction since it was not advised to go much beyond that date due to his size. She also wasn't sure if his head would fit, but said we won't know until we try! So while c-section did get planted in the back of mind, I never really had the courage to consider it an option.
Photo by Mary Fields Photography
On Thursday, September 22nd (2 days after his due date) we headed to the hospital to begin inducing. After 2 hours of laying on my side and not moving, I finally finished the first part of the process. Side note, more than 20 minutes on my side at 40 weeks was killer on my hips; two hours and I thought they might explode, but having the season opener of Grey's Anatomy and How to Get Away with Murder on tv sure did help take my mind of the pain. Thank you Shonda Rhimes...
Afterwards I had my last meal until little guy comes, and settled in for the night. About 2 hours later, the strangest sensation happened—my water broke! My mind started rushing, wondering if this meant he was coming now, should we call the parents, should I be scared, where's the doctor. But it turned out I was barely dilated at 3 cm, so they had to re-give me the medicine and have me sit still for 2 hours again...yay... I'll spare the details of what the rest of the night held, but let's just say I felt like I was sleeping in a pool for the rest of the night. It's comforting when the nurse tells you it will feel like this till you deliver...awesome.
The next day, the nurses came in and checked on me, they started the next round of inducing and we began to wait. Family started to show up and check in on things. I had received my epidural at this point so I was pretty content in my bed. Not gonna lie, but not having to get up to pee at 40 weeks pregnant and exposed is kind of greatness, I think I like that part of the epidural more than the pain medication. Plus since active labor hadn't started I wasn't in much pain, but we made the decision to go ahead and put the epidural in now instead of waiting, and I'm glad we did.
Later that afternoon I still hadn't dilated much so the nurse brought in a peanut ball. In my mind (and the mind of my family) we imagined something small that would fit comfortable between my legs, ha! It was ginormous! But lo and behold it started to work. An hour or so with that guy and I started to dilate to about 9 cm, we are almost there! And then something happened. I started shaking uncontrollably and throwing up. I had been shaking all day, but that was the side effect of the epidural, and it was manageable, but this was different. My jaw couldn't stop moving, my whole body would just move with no control. We wrapped blankets around my head and all over my body to try and control it. My husband put on worship music so I could focus on the lyrics and try to control the shaking.
After hours of sweating I started to get cold and chilly. In a matter of minutes my fever spike to 102, and the decision was made to do an emergency c-section. At the time of my shaking and fever all of my family had decided to take a break and walk around the hospital. Imagine their shock when they came back after 30 minutes to find out I was being wheeled into surgery.
Even though I had known a c-section was a possibility, I thought it would be because baby's head wouldn't fit, not because I had a fever, shakes, and the signs of an infection that the baby could get. I honestly had never been so scared in my life. The thought that I could sick and pass it on to my unborn child minutes before birth was frightening. Reed immediately sent out an email asking people to pray, then he suited up in his scrubs and met me in the OR.
The next part was just plain scary. I have a hard time watching Grey's Anatomy and the whole reason I started watching the show was so I could build up my tolerance to blood and guts. I never wanted to think about a c-section because the thought of having people cut me open while I was awake was just too much for me, and now it was happening. But it turns out the hardest part, was holding my neck up. I have no idea why, but I just remember how much it hurt and how the pillow kept falling out under my head. Afterwards I had spasms in my neck from trying to keep still, who knew that would be the hardest part of the surgery. Also, can we just say how opposite Reed is of me. He kept standing up to look over the sheet and watch my insides being opened on the table. Brave man, that's all I got to say.
What I do remember is when the baby came out is how the doctors and nurses were shocked at his size. I remember my doctor saying he had linebacker shoulders as the rest of the nurses gasped and all took guesses at his weight. Turns out everyone under-guessed, as his real weight was a whopping 10 pounds and 13 ounces. I immediately felt justified for the lack of laziness I had during my last few weeks of pregnancy. No wonder I couldn't bend down, walk, or sleep right, I had an almost 11 pound baby inside me!
Ezra, taken right after he was delivered in the O
Since I had a fever the baby also came out with a fever. I was already on antibiotics by IV and now it was time for Ezra to receive his. He was immediately rushed to the NICU so I only saw him by a photo that Reed had taken once he was delivered. After they were done with sewing me up, I was then wheeled into recovery. I was monitored and given more IVs to try and reduce my fever. At the same time Ezra was also put on a c-pap machine and they started his round of antibiotics.
After spending 3 hours in post-op I was then wheeled in my bed down to NICU so I could see Ezra. I don't remember much, other than he was hooked up to the c-pap machine and it just broke my heart. I couldn't hold him but only touch his little hands. Afterwards I was then wheeled into my room while nurses began monitoring me every couple hours. Eventually my fever broke, and I was allowed to eat again.
The next day after my epidural and catheter were removed I had to start the process of walking on my own. I will stop right here and say this was the most difficult thing I had ever done. I now have tremendous respect for all those who going through physical therapy and recovery from major surgery. It is no easy task. After having two people help me to the bathroom, then to a chair, and then to a wheelchair in a matter of hours, I eventually broke down and just cried. I couldn't even carry myself to the bathroom much less sit on my own with shooting pain, how in the world would I ever take care of a baby. In my mind this was going to last days, and how would I do this again in an hour when I had to pee again. Questions flooded my mind as tears flooded my face. Eventually I calmed down and was wheeled down to see my baby boy.
Day two and Ezra was no longer on the c-pap machine, which meant all the fluid was out of his lungs, and he was a much happier baby. Being that big, the nurses said he was so strong he kept pulling it off anyways. Hard to blame him...I'd want to do the same thing.
The next few days involved a steady rotation of pain pills, sleeping, eating, pumping, crying, and checking on babe. Each day recovery got tremendously better, and even by that night I was able to get to the bathroom without crying (though still with help of 2 people). One of the things that helped me the most in my recovery were two things:
My mom with Ezra while he was connected to the c-pap machine.
1. A binder. If you have a c-section make sure you don't do anything until the hospital staff puts this on you. I cannot tell you how much this helped with my pain and that feeling as if your organs are falling out. Seriously, I regret not having this in those first few hours of trying to walk.
2. Stories from those who have gone before. Most of my family had no delivered via c-section so they weren't exactly sure what to expect, other than they knew I was in pain and it was not fun. I had shared my struggle and asked for prayer for both Ezra and I on social media and in response got an overwhelming amount of stories from others who had had c-sections. I cannot tell you how much every single comment meant to me. For the first time I felt as if I would recover, this would not last forever, and I wasn't the only one going through this. People also shared their experiences of having their little one in NICU and how they managed to survive. I wish I could say thank you to each and every one of you who reached out, but if you happen to read this just know I am beyond grateful for your words and stories.
While I was recovering, so was Ezra. He was still fighting low blood sugar and the doctors were still running tests to see if he had caught my group B strep. Because Ezra was not going to be released by my discharge day, the hospital provided a courtesy room for us to stay in while he was in the NICU. Honestly, this was a major blessing. I was not ready to transition home. I had no idea how I was going to sleep or use the restroom, as I was not strong enough and needed A LOT of help. Let's not even think about how I'm gonna crawl in a car on day 3. So when I found out we would get to stay in the hospital and I would have access to that awesome bed with hand rails and the ability to lower and raise the frame, I was ecstatic. I knew this would help me recover faster and allow us to be close-ish to Ezra at all times.
Finally the day came where Ezra was no longer fighting low blood sugar, and a couple days after that he finished up his round of antibiotics and was officially declared free of any infections. This meant we could go home! My body was much stronger and for the first time I knew we could actually manage the huge transition out of the hospital.
It was one of the longest weeks I'd ever experience, but at the same time I feel blessed. I never had to worry if Ezra was going to be okay or if he had made it through the night. He was a healthy baby boy and just need a little extra attention in those early days. He also only had to be there a week, unlike many who have had to wait weeks before they could bring their baby home. But being in the NICU I saw a lot of babies who parents didn't know if their child would make it, in fact, one didn't. My heart ached when I saw them bring in the body bag to the room down the hall. I cannot even imagine what those parents were going through.
If Ezra's birth story taught me anything it was that I have the upmost respect for nurses. The nurses that took care of me and Ezra were excellent. I cannot imagine doing their job, and I seriously tip my hat off to anyone in the medical field. You guys are what get people through recovery and you do the hard stuff that most people could never do, so thank you. And thank you to everyone who prayed for Ezra and myself during our time in the hospital. I know it was through your prayers that we made it through so smoothly.
My grandma meeting Ezra, her first great-grandbaby
I'd say Ezra was a fan of the skin on skin time with his momma.
Reed finally getting to hold Ezra.
Skin on skin time. I highly recommend Milkmaid Nursing Ponchos, they allowed me to pump and hold Ezra with privacy.
Refresh My Soul: Paris, France
Oh August, with your blazing heat and days full of hope and fear as children and teachers alike prepare for back to school. But the hope you bring as we anticipate the lowering temperatures, orange leaves, football, and best of all pumpkin spice lattes. Yes, fall, you are my favorite. So while we continue to wait for you in sweltering heat I'll just take a look back at the world's favorite places: Paris. Because we can all admit that Paris make everything better.
